Out of Town Clingers

My roommate Noreen has a penchant for strangers, whom she appropriately deems "stranger friends". On nights when we disregard our actual, legitimate friends and troll the town as a twosome, the night begins like so: We go to Mickey's Hangover for the first drink and mass text all of the 'stranger friends' we can find on our sim cards. It is always the case that she has far more stranger friends than i do, namely because i give random people my sister's phone number instead of my own (usually). The other reason that she has more stranger friends is because she is less likely to offend strangers within five minutes of meeting them. 

This past Friday, we decided it was time to revamp our supply of stranger friends, which has been tapering off. The problem with stranger friends is that they are, well, kind of disposable. Because we do not take the time to actually befriend these people, they are flat characters who lack the complexity of  real friends. After texting our current list of stranger friends, we recieved several lack-luster responses and did not have any real desire to meet up with them. Noreen declared, "Ok, one rule-- we are only allowed to talk to strangers tonight. We need more entertaining stranger friends." Five minutes later, as we frolicked to the next venue, an shi shi ultra lounge called 6, an entourage of graphic-t garbed bros trailed behind us. They were from San Diego and were looking for somewhere fun. This is code for: can we hang out with you?

Rule #1 to making stranger friends: watch out for out of town clingers

Out of town clingers usually travel in packs. They corner you at cross lights with deer in the headlight expressions and the first line is usually, "are you guys from here?" We usually try to stay away from this breed. First of all, they will not be useful for future diversions, apart from a text or two. Second of all, they cling to you like baby kittens, suckling and half blind. Inviting them to join you is, therefore, very dangerous, as it must be for a mother  cat to leave its helpless little babies vulnerable to new bars. This prevents you from meeting new stranger friends who will willingly supply you with complimentary libations and 20 minutes of entertainment a pop. 

We happened to meet these out of town clingers quite early in the night. As we crossed the street, Noreen  signaled to them, "Martini Ranch is right there! You might like it! We are going to 6." Nice, Noreen, nice.