White Kong in love

"You'll never believe what White Kong just did," my mom quipped while we chat on the phone, "He just came into the kitchen for cookies, took the hot ones for himself and then put the cold ones on a plate for his friends." Sounds about right. I laughed, "White Kong knows what he wants." Clearly, White Kong is an alpha male. A few minutes later, I heard David Guetta's techno beats blasting and White Kong belting out "Sexy Bitch". Apparently, he was putting on a show for his guests and did not think he was too far a cry from Akon.

"mom, what kind of shit is going on over there?!?" I was a little concerned. White Kong was acting sketchier than usual.

"oh it's just white kong being White Kong," my mom said, "did I tell you what he did last night?" My mom then went on to inform me that White Kong had volunteered to work at some Halloween event at the park as a member of the Varsity Club. As part of his volunteer role, he was supposed to wear a costume while he passed out candy. On his way out the door, White Kong ran down to the basement and grabbed a demented Halloween mask that might be well embraced by anyone who has pedophilic tendencies.

"Michael, that is what you are wearing to pass out candy to children," my mom had queried, "don't you think you scare the children?" White Kong shrugged and said it was the easiest costume he could find and jumped in his race car to go volunteer with the children. This was also a red flag that White Kong was more or less embracing his capacity to fly his freak flag.

But then, again, I guess love can make you crazy. While I was home visiting, I learned that while White Kong dominates athletics, academia, gaming, and most things in life, really, his heart is actually dominated by an unrequited love. White Kong, is, in fact, a hapless and hopeless romantic. Unfortunately, the lady of interest had moved East for her senior year of high school to attend some ritzy private school as she was hoping to attend Harvard in the fall. Either that or she really want to know what its like to be a Gossip Girl. White Kong had been crushed.

Anyhow, White Kong in love is a different animal from White Kong not in love. White Kong in love is sassy and blasts eurotrash techno. White Kong in love flexes his biceps at any chance and walks taller and prouder than ever before. White Kong in love did not want to ask another date to homecoming. "I'm not buying some chick dinner and paying for her ticket," he said, "I can get a steak if I don't have a date." Then I saw it. White Kong was in love and did not want to waste his time or his hard earned golf caddy money on some bra he didn't have the hots for. It was like that .38 special song, "so caught up in you" was constantly blaring through White Kong's teenage mind.

Even though he will eventually get over it, I am actually quite proud of my brother for his first step toward love. It confirms that he is really just a human and actually not a super-human. And, since White Kong is such a catch, I am sure he will find love again soon enough.