Before I stumbled across this Go Girl empire of all things urinary and portable, I was never really aware that my inability to pee standing up was a draw back. Sure, maybe it takes me about 30 seconds longer to urinate than a man, thereby giving a male colleague a lunch break that is roughly 30 seconds longer than mine. Or maybe, while out in the woods, I would have to find a denser neck of the woods to drop my shorts while a man can just pull it out just about anywhere. But I wouldn't necessarily consider myself at a disadvantage for this. I also am 99% of time avoiding the great outdoors- I prefer patios. Furthermore, I think the concept of a urinal is tremendously disgusting and awkward. I'm glad that public establishments had to ultimately spend more money to build more bathroom stalls for women.
Anyhow, for the love of all that is androgynous, women can now shove a funnel like device with a spout just below their nether regions and apparently "go anywhere" because "life's greatest adventure shouldn't be finding a bathroom." The Gogirl comes in lavender, but you can purchase either a traditional pink or a special camoflauge container. There are gift packs to boot, as well, in which you can get a GoGirl tshirt so that you can flaunt that you pee like a man.
I have one small question: WHAT DOES THIS EVEN MEAN?!?! Ok so maybe this funnel thing would keep you from having squat or splash out in the woods or could be used within a public stalls to prevent you from sitting on a toilet or taking advantage of the 30 second glute/hamstring work out that results from squatting (hidden workouts are the best). However, this still doesn't mean you can pee ANYWHERE- it simply allows you to pee differently.
I was so thrown off by this entire concept that I investigated the website further. Apparently, there are types of Go girls: Outdoorsygirl, Skigirl, Globalgirl, Mommygirl, Citygirl, and Roadgirl.
So the descriptions for Outdoorsygirl and Skigirl almost make sense. Skigirl might need to go off into the woods and use her Go girl, though i'm not really sure where she is going to keep it while she's on the slopes. I guess in the pocket of her ski jacket. Outdoorsygirl, also, is in the woods all day so now she doesn't have to step off the trail to far. Even Globalgirl might be roughing it in India or in the jungles of South America. I guess the world really can be your toilet.
The concept of Mommygirl definitely bothers me. It suggests having one's young daughter use it to prevent germs. Sadly the germs it prevents will not outweigh the psychological problems and gender confusion she will experience later.
Roadgirl also perturbs me as I get this vision of traffic violations galore while urinating en route.
While trying to figure out which type of girl I was, I decided that I fit best as Citygirl. For the Citygirl, Go girl aims to please the impatient, high maintenance clipping from club to club in her hooker heels :
"Worried about germs in public places? Had it with impossibly long lines at clubs, stadiums, or big outdoor events? If there's a will, there's a way-- when you've got a go girl in your bag."
There is no way I can even try to defend this as a plausible concept. It would only result in a UIP or sex offender violation. What would I do? pull out my Gogirl and urinate into my empty vodka redbull? the thought of it makes my stomach churn! Sorry, Gogirl... you are not for the City Girl. Even if City girl were to use it in a public restroom stall for sanitary reasons, Isn't it all the more worse to be carrying around remnants of your own urine in your purse after peeing? I also do not think that peeing into a funnel would go over so well while getting tips'.
Though Gogirl boasts, "You won't be like a man. You will just be able to pee like one", I will not be breaking that bad boy out at the bar, mall, or any of the very public places I go to on a daily basis. I much prefer the hidden work outs.
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